Parenting experts, Kate and Gerry McCann, have announced they’re to open a new childminding business in Chester. The new business, named ‘Hide and Seek Tots’, is due to open next week and will feature an open day on the Thursday.
The nursery will also feature a special dining area, where parents can go to get away from the hustle and bustle of parent life and enjoy a quiet meal on their own, safe in the knowledge their children are being looked after. The restaurant will offer Portuguese themed cuisine, a favourite of the McCanns.
Parents who would like to learn from the McCanns’ famed parenting techniques can also take special classes at the childminding centre, where Kate and Gerry will be teaching parents how to look after their children properly.
One of the classes taught at the childminding centre will be Gerry McCann’s class on ‘how to clean up a mess your child has made’ – which Gerry says is a great lesson for parents and something that has served him well in the past.
In an exclusive interview with the Bugle, Kate McCann commented:
Speaking as a loving parent, I hope to pass on our knowledge to other parents so they can become as trusted role models as we are.
The childminding centre opens next Friday, with an open day on the Thursday so parents can experience first-hand what the McCanns’ children have experienced and benefited from growing up.
Will you be attending the open day next week? Will you be taking your children to Hide and Seek Tots? Let us know in the comments below.
This is the best thing I’ve ever read, did you get fired or hacked Darren?
Just reporting the news as it happens Luke 😉
Who are your sources because I am 100% sure thats not news but Fake news…
Duh it’s a joke obviously 🙄
Darren, you are an ugly human being profiting from others misery.
Yes they made a mistake leaving their kids in their room while they had dinner, but I’m sure there are a large proportion of parents out there who may have not kept as close eye on their kids as they should have at at least one point in their lives. The only difference is their actions didn’t end in tragedy of criminals taking advantage of the opportunity to take their kids.
These people have tragically lost their child. Absolutely years of scrutiny and publicity and there has never been sufficient evidence to charge them with a crime. Yet so many people see fit to joke about it, and scum like you encouraging sick comments and hate for these people, to increase ‘hits’ to your website. You are truly the scum here.
Thanks Tracy. When commenting with a fake name, don’t use your real email address.
Watch out, Sherlock is about.
You really, really didn’t say that did you Warren?
Don’t give up the day job you sad cunt
Don’t give up looking for a day job Graham. Something will come up.
Hahahahha
This has to be a joke surely. I work for the McCanns and I’ve found them to be good eggs.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Absolutely fantastic. I was told there’s a 3 for 2 offer, is that right? And if my hubby and our friends wish to dine on the Portuguese style food, can you assure us that we will not be interrupted by screaming toddlers?
Hahahahah hahahhah hahahhhah hahhah hahhhah
Oh yes fantastic for my little one hoping that the child care is so great that the wee cheeky cunt dissapears
😂😂😂
lmfao hahahahaha
I understand the 3 for 2 offer now. Bring 3 children and leave with 2, what a novel idea! Really looking forward to the tapas and also the parenting classes. I really admire the mccanns. They way they dusted themselves down and threw themselves into this project is highly commendable. In fact I think the couple ought to be nominated for the Queens next b’day honours. I don’t know if any other couple being able to moneyspin like this pair and they’re so generous as the small toy shop in the town where they live, has been on the verge of closing down for over a decade, but every year, Gerry and Kate make their pilgrimage to the shop so as to spend the funds they raised on presents for their eldest daughter which they wrap up and leave in their eldest daughters room. They don’t get anything for the twins but they should be grateful for their holidays. The publishers and printers of Kate’s book also did well from their generosity. Writing a book of bullshit which thousands bought, enabled many people to remain in employment. They’ve also kept policemen in work when the police commissioner said jobs must go… they kindly started another round of publicity seeking on This Morning , Lorraine and Kate appeared on Loose Women and another police investigation began. I am really looking forward to Hide and Seek tots. I also heard that Kate and Gerry were thinking of fostering problem children. That’s how good they are.
thats the first time i’ve laughed a cup of tea through my nose :’D
Surely this is a joke. They cannot even look after their own children let alone other peoples. I would not let my worst enemy children near them.
you thick fucker
Discussing! I’m a parent myself!! N took my children abroad but never left them on their own!! It’s terrible how you both think (mcanns!) you going to teach other parents how yo look after their children!’ Ya need a lesson yourselfs!! My children would sertenly NOT be attending your nursery I’ve heared it all now! I’d prob never see them again! You want to be ashamed of your selfs!! Am ansolutly disgusted! Look for ya daughter instead of be so caring of others!
are cuntry. disc race!!!111
This is quite clearly satire. Idiot.
You’re as thick as a whale omelette
LMAO!!!
Fantastic grammar Rebecca (could you teach me?, i realise it’s alternative and that you don’t have a fucking clue as to what’s going on…but hey)
I think you’ve all been Poe’d.
U ok hun?? xxxx
Are you serious. You honestly believe this is real 🤣🤣🤣🙄
I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing…. Your grammar or the fact you’re THAT gullible. Poor soul.
I never took eyes off my children when we on holiday and they left their kids in the hotel room whilst they wined and dined 😡
I think you’ll find It’s spelt ‘disCUSTing’, according to some folk on my fb feed. Make sure you send them somewhere that provides spelling lessons, I don’t think the McCanns have said they do.
disgusting…
Really is this a joke. The worst parents you could ever have,a couple of deadbeats
Absolute jokes can’t even look after the kids you have and you are saying u are opening a place for kids to go no chance u shouldn’t even have them twins u have discraceful behaviour.
of course it’s a joke! A very funny joke..
About as funny as alcohol poisoning.
About as funny as your face Bob.
If I was born with a face that looked like yours, cuntflaps, I’d have shot myself when I realised.
Still time to shoot yourself. No fucker will ever miss you.
U OK HUN?
Half price annual school trip to Portugal.
Only one way ticket needed?
The McCanns were accused by two Doctors the Gaspars
There is a police report called The Gaspars Statement
http://www.mccannpjfiles.co.uk/PJ/KATERINA-PAYNE-INCIDENT.htm
Lol, surely a joke! They should be in prison for neglect! Not making more money off the back of their daughters disappearance!
Good on them for shaking off the negative press and overcoming to do such an amazing thing
this has to be a joke right- the name alone, if this is true is actually quite sick. I for one would not let them near my children and would not leave my children with them.
Unfortunately whatever happened that meant their little girl got taken/lost has tainted the pair- and so to open a business in the area in which you are constant gossip and using up alot of tax payers money- when other children do not get a look in, means this will be a very short lived and un-welcomed business.
You Emma are an Idiot.
Emma you’re a fucking vegetable.
Who is the schools principal? King Herod?
you thick fucker
Scary how many ppl don’t question anything! Ahemukpoliceahem… I sincerely hope this new establishment isn’t the same as the old establishment they were part of because they were responsible for
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,,,eeee ffs haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeee man haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa have you got 2 pare places please haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Will there also be a swingers course in the evenings?
Its tempting but I’ll be sending mine to
“Glitter and Saville childcare” I think…
Ooh exciting! Will they give tips on the best chloroform to use when going out for a tapas?
Got my 3 year old a place here and have signed up to some of their courses for parents too. Particularly looking forward to the digging module in the organic gardening programme.
Pmsfl my sides are hurting
Wow! This looks very professional and I imagine that it took a great deal of planning and constructing as well as lots of your valuable and precious time and effort that You most likely could ill afford to waste Either eh. I must say it’s an absolute privilege to have stumbled across this and I really cannot recall the last time I read anything that made me laugh as loud as hard or as long as this. I think that what you have ingeniously put together here is astounding and incomprehensible really to be honest. It’s immediately obvious that you are an invaluable prominent leading member of an enormous global social society which sadly forces you to endure a relentless barrage of incalculable amounts of opposing gender fixation. Knowing that it’s biologically impossible I can only assume that the immeasurable amounts of wit,humour and sarcasm that you are so very obviously in possession of can only be the result of numerous genetic enhancement procedures. Therefore I’m am in no doubt what so ever that your matter was constructed from The combined DNA of every intellectual mind that has ever existed throughout history and I must say I’m quite frankly astonished by the level of advancement in human evolution that’s being portrayed here.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I know this is all a joke, just a little “haha, satire” but this was in poor taste. This is the lowest of low brow.
Hope when your child gets kidnapped you’ll have people making jokes to you of “wow, they’re a really good hide and seek player.”
Please be better.
Don’t ever tell someone you hope the worst thing in the world that could happen to a parent will happen to them.
Please be better.
Think Simone is a bit of a tramp to be honest.
I’ve shagged her and, let me tell you, her minge smells like a ripe kipper.
Was someone’s child kidnapped Simone?
If you have evidence of this I think you should talk to the Police asap
Darren – you’re a complete waste of blood and organs. You should have been drowned at Birth you festering turd. I further suspect that your parents innocently and unintentionally reared the afterbirth and called it “Darren” derived from “tree” or thick as a plank.
Bullseye!
Nice Tom, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Course you do. Tongues and everything. Dirty bastard.
FOAD Tom, you fucking Facetard potato.
They’re doing cheap as chips weekend breaks to the Algarve. So cheap You’ll make a killing. Free flights for kids 1 way
All of you are going to be sued.
Mum, Dad is that you? Can I come home now I think I’m old enough so that no one will recognise me after the scam we pulled.
You just won the Internet!
LULZ on toast!
Hi Darren,
I am related to little Maddie, and Find this sick.
I have a few ideas and games for when I see you very soon, I hope you find them fun 👍
That’s it Paul, announce your intentions with a threat on a public platform.
Aim your anger at a murderer, not a ‘comedian’
COOL STORY BRO
Maybe if they hadn’t left her alone or whatever the scientific evidence suggests happened.
Either way, it is their fault.
If they’d done this in the uk, they’d have been doing time, not raking in cash from books.
Disgusting comments . I know mad dies aunt very well and that poor family suffer daily, regardless of what you all think this family destroyed with a huge loss. All so quick to laugh and joke and blame.. God help you all if u had to live through such an ordeal ..not so funny or critical then! Bunch of judging twats !
No you don’t. STFU you lying fucking cabbage.
Don’t slack off, say what is on your mind.
I hope they’ll be teaching how to play hide and seek.
I understand one of their children is the current world champion
Simply they are to blame for the disapearce of the child and I find this brilliant 😂😂😂 I think Madeline wants to come home now
Simone Smith wow imagine if Karen Matthews staged her shannons disappearance abroad she may have just got away with it with no jail time! these to need taking out to pasture and shooting right in between the eyes and their twins should be with responsible adults you know two good upstanding members of the community
I can’t believe so many people are posting saying ha ha ha, it’s not funny 😞
Maybe they’ve all got a sense of humour Karen? Perhaps you could order one on the Internet?
Sorry but this is just not funny. The McCanns may have made a terrible mistake and have paid the ultimate price. They have to live with this for the rest of their lives. Poking fun at this terrible tragedy is not funny and not clever. We all make mistakes and thankfully never pay a terrible price, however thats only by luck and not by judgement. Lets hope some of you guys never have to pay the ultimate price for one of your mostakes.
What’s a ‘mostake’ Rob?
It should have read mistake as you know Darren. Please go and troll someone else as that seems to have been your main purpose with this thread. I stand by my point. Its not funny, its tragic. This joke belongs in the gutter.
You’re on my site. You go and troll somewhere else.
It may be your site but you trol anyone who does not have your sick sence of humor and somehow has the decency to tell you you are wrong. So Fuck off you muppet.
I can’t troll you (two ‘l’s) if you piss off. One of us is posting content on their own site, to their audience, and one of us is bitching on about their opinion like anyone gives a fuck on someone else’s website. Guess who is who?
Darren, whilst I know the whole point is to sartirical, there does come a point where it can be taken too far. For me this is one of those times. We are not just talking about the McCanns as parents, we are talking about the other sibblings and extended family. Their suffering will never end, and for me this is joke is too near the bone to be funny.
Suffering of their own bringing.
If I cut my own hand off, I could hardly complain I can’t do my zip up.
Whatever the truth is that night, they are to blame.
Someone will always get upset by jokes.
Don’t get MADdie about it.
Absolute vile specimen you are Darren, cunt of a man! And I’m guessing you was abused as a child, or maybe you still do because you have begun to like enjoy it
Yes, someone who has a view different you yours definitely means they were abused as a child.
I don’t understand how they both are not locked up for life. There is a huge amount of evidence proving they killed there daughter. Kate killed her and gerry framed her disappearence. All because they wanted a fancy kid free meal without organising a babysitter.
Is one of the lessons the right amount of drugs per child so u can have a peaceful meal. 🤔 think my son and I will pass. Funny joke who would trust those two with their kids? X
Could you please write an article on the new JEFFREY DHALMER BBQ Restaurant Chain?
I’ve heard that you can by into the Restaurant Chain and own your own franchise.
Sincerely;
Searia Kett Vorza
OMG…..a little bit of wee actually came out i laughed so much!so funny darren, hats off to you mate
The police need to open up another investigation into them again. I remember seeing the first press conference with the Macanes and I thought to myself they did it the guilt was all over their faces and that opinion has never changed. They should just admit it and we can all then finally say I told you so 👍
Yes of course I’ll be taking my children along to the open day and hopefully, if I’m lucky enough (and indeed my children are lucky enough) I’ll get them enrolled full time at Hide And Seek Tots!
I would just trust anyone with my kids BUT I would completely trust the McCann’s 110% with my kids. They are very responsible people and highly trustworthy.
Only one thing, I dont have any kids yet, does anyone think there will be a problem getting them enrolled???
Lol. Brilliant!
Regards,
Ben
Is it true that Cliff Richard is funding this start-up?
Absolutely cracking! I haven’t laughed so hard in ages! Thanx Darren 🙂
When we had a boy, we used to put him in soundproof room, because we didn’t like to hear him screaming.
Ian Huntley’s swimming pool coming soon….
Well thats one nursery that wont run out of funding 🤣😂🤣🤭
This is evil and vile
I believe the care will includes rides in their new car a renault mecanne
[…] who was in Chester to open new children’s nursery, Hide and Seek Tots, started yelling at press photographers as she left the nursery when they asked her about […]